Funny Story

I had an open house for a couple that was very particular about how things were in their home. Each item in their home was meticulously place in just the right spot and very picture was centered to the wall and so level you could place a marble on the top and it would not move. We were very careful to leave everything just the way that it was when we had arrived. We place our open house signs and balloons on the corners and open the door for the open house. About an hour into the open house an mid aged women came in to view the home. We asked her to sign in and have a look around. She asked the basic questions, "How many bedrooms, bathrooms and square feet?" After some chit chat she started to walked through the house.
After reflecting back I did remember that she was acting kind of anxious, and thought she isn't really caring about what I say she just has to get some where, FAST.
Like when you have to stop at the store when you should have been at an appointment about 10 minutes ago and the clerk is taking her time checking you out. The clerk starts telling you her life story (BLAH BLAH BLAH)and your trying not to be rude but you really don't want to know that her daughter just found out she is pregnant and the clerk is so excited about being a grandmother. (Oh yeah for you!!!) Your listening to what she says but not really. That's what this lady was acting like.
She walked through the house rather quickly, said thank you then stepped out the door. I gave Terry a look like what was that about and before either of us could say anything she came right back in. I was a little startled because I didn't want her to see the look on my face. I looked at her and said "yes". She had a desperate, desperate look on her face in a pleading voice she asked if she could please use the bathroom. I stuttered a little think of how the owners would not like this one bit!!! But seeing the look on this women's face, I simply could not say no. And thinking about the owners I know they would hate a mess on their floor even more. Reluctantly I said "Sure go ahead."
She used the bathroom and before I could say goodbye she was out the door. I turned to Terry "Boy that was weird." He agreed and said I should check the bathroom and make sure every thing was ok. I went over to the door not sure to what I would find, I opened the door and before I could step in, a wave of the most horrid smell hit me like a mac truck.(HONK HONK) I quickly closed the door and started to gage. Terry came around the corner, "What's wrong?" After I caught my breath and quite gaging I told him not to go in there the lady that was in there was really sick and blow up the bathroom!!!! I started to gage again. I'm quickly thinking about the home owners, Oh my word!!!! The owners are going to have a BIG, BLACK & WHITE COW! I told Terry we had to get it aired out before some one else comes in, the smell was leaking out in to the rest of the house. Terry and I start frantically looking through the drawers in the kitchen for matches or candles or both. I'm having no luck finding anything in the kitchen I decide to go up stairs in the master bath to see what I can find. Terry has his shirt pulled up over his nose preparing to open the door to turn on the fan in the bathroom because I was not able to go near the door with out gaging. It looks as though he is preparing to go into battle. He takes a deep breath and opens the door and quickly switches on the fan and shuts the door just as fast as her opened it. He yells up at me in a urgent voice to hurry.
I find air freshener in the master bathroom grasping the tool to defeat this weapon of mass destruction I come down the stairs. As I'm coming down the stairs and turn the corner I see Terry with his shirt over his nose, he is holding a small gas lighter up in the air swaying in back and forth like he's at a concert singing Kombaya. He turns his head and with the most serious look I have ever seen, he very urgently says "open the front and back door."
I started busting a gut!!! How can that small gas lighter take care of that horrible, monstrous smell!!! How does he think that lighter will do the trick??? Only a man would think that would help. It was like a solder going in to battle with a water gun!!! (squirt squirt) Not going to make a darn bit of difference.
Well we opened both the front and back door and got it aired out before anyone came to the door. I checked everything after the smell had gone, and just for good measure got the cleaners and cleaned the toilet just in case.
Note to self: At an open house don't let anyone use the bathroom!!!